Take Chances

Alone ia what I have to be for a very long time.

I’m numb. Every where I look i just see people that will always lie to me and will never love me like I learned to love them. I never knew what it was like to not trust anyone due to the fact that I’ve always trusted so easily, but now I do. Man kind always does one thing, look out for his/her own self and fulfill their desires even if it comes at the expense of another, even someone they love. I look around at the people in life who love me and realize that I have always gone out of my way for every single one of them multiple times but when the tables are turn they don’t do the same and don’t cut me a break. I am so done with everyone. I know I’m loved but I feel as if no one cares. My life’s not perfect and some times i can’t keep it together but I do a really good job at it most of the time. Everything is caving in on me at once, family, friends , etc. I can’t any more…. if anyone had the right to get a break its me. I just feel like I need to get away from everything… maybe go to my favorite place here. I want an escape. I feel like I’m holding up a really good poker face right now but the truth is I’ve never felt so alone in my entire life. But alone is what I should be for a while…. I’m going to push everyone who wants to get in and care about me away from now on. I don’t trust peoples ambitions toward me and so I want to be alone but their will always be that part of me that wants to be held in someones arms and know that I’m loved and nothing can touch me. For now on those people will be my friends if they are around for me and random people that I expect never to see again. Here I am back at square one just wanting to know that theirs a possibility for someone out their to love me just as much as they love themselves and wont ever hurt me. People look to me and expect me to be this perfect person or the good daughter but I make mistakes too. Is that so wrong?

P.S. this is not all about you, all the other shit in my life is broken right now too